Recognise the signs

Speaking to my sister-in-law (to be) about this blip has helped me understand a little bit more about the signs that there that I now recongise as something not being right, leading to this blip.

They are as follows:

• Disinterest in food - This is not a conscious decision not to eat, but a disinterest in food as if everything looks as appealing as a plate of cardboard. This symptom is something I must admit I did recognise, but on its own I didn't see it as a symptom.
• Inability to make a decison - When I feel well, I feel able to make quite complex decisons, often accompanied by many other complex decisions, with ease as if I was born to do so. My inability to make a decison, even quite a trivial decision, such as what to have for dinner or what to do over the next few days, was a symptom I did not recognise when it was first presented, but something I realised after a few had taken place in partnership with other symptoms.
• Being overally emotional (sensitive, angry, etc) - For me, this was both showing signs of excessive anger to situations that did not require me to do, as well as feeling tearful in the same respect.
• Staring into space for long periods of time
• Feeling overwhelmed with dread
• Not being able to map out my thoughts - This could be problems with trying to explain myself and my thoughts or feelings, getting situations confused with each other and jumping from one part of a story to another pretty much as I remember them, rather than how they actually occurred.

All of these symptoms occurred within a couple of weeks and it was only when faced with them all, connecting the dots that they made together, that I realised that something was wrong.

It's not day two of my week away from work and being back on my medication. Today is sunny, and I believe that is partly what is contributing to me feeling a bit more like myself, but I hope that even if tomorrow is rainy, I will still continue to feel a bit whole again.